Book Recommendation: Everything will be ok in the end, if it is not okay, it’s not the End!

Maid -Book Cover

Reading the book , The Maid is akin to sipping a cask strength Spey side Single Malt. The first sip is rough, burns through your throat. You grimace and persist only because you are lazy to get up and make another. You sip absent mindedly only to be surprised, how with each sip the spirit and with each minute as the large cube of ice melts(yes, sacrilege)  the spirit mellows, warming your cockles, leaving you with unexpected sweetness and a desire for an encore.

Nita Prose’s Cask Strength book,  is not about the slain, the suspect or the sleuth it’s about the narrator – Molly.  

Molly, Molly all the way with her innocence, naivete, school girlish comebacks  & monochrome view of the world is this book.  First person narratives can be tedious and difficult to get through, but not this one. 

Nita Prose, introduces the reader to a world that is devoid of clutter, subtext or inuendo. That should make it dull and dreary but is anything but that. Molly reminded me some of Klara in Ishiguro’s, Klara and the Sun. Molly trying to make sense of the elaborate charades we carry out our lives, is reminiscent of Klara’s amazement at human behavior.

I enjoy murder mysteries, especially the ones that torture you till the end with who did it! This is neither tortured nor overly fazed me of who done it. Yet I enjoyed the read and would recommend as a good mid-week Netflix replacement and accompaniment to your mid-week spirited break,  cask strength or now.  If you are not the spirited kinds, try sipping a clear pepper rasam as you savor the book. I prefer the spirit and wouldn’t sully the Rasam with such trivialities. Your choice. 

A read that delights despite cliched heroic court scenes, dirty, a bumbling police woman and a famous five inspired climax. 

Oh if you are intrigued by the title of this book suggestion, just get to the last page. 

Disclaimer: this book was read under the influence of a Glen Aulachie Cask Strength whisky & the summary is the aftermath of a COVID infection

Brand Who? Yes, ‘YOU’ – Brand ME CEO

My take on why it is essential to invest in the brand ‘YOU’ , something that will set you apart from the crowd and help create your own identity!

My latest article on People Matters:  http://www.peoplematters.in/article/2014/06/05/strategic-hr/brand-who-yes-you-brand-me-ceo/6013

Being a Woman, as Seen by a Man!

My People Matters column this month is a tribute to all the women in my life. This article ( totally from a male perspective) explores the dichotomous, often complex relationship between man and woman.

Here is the link for your ease. Look forward to your comments…

http://peoplematters.in/articles/focus-areas-13/being-a-woman-as-seen-by-a-man-elango

What’s Your Lego? Tap you hidden reservoir – II

Thank you for the overwhelming response to “What’s your Lego set? Tap you hidden reservoir”- my article that recently featured in the Economic Times. A feedback that kept coming back was, the article was too crisp. So here is a fleshed out version of the same theme that I hope will add more perspective.

____________________________________________________________________________________________

I recently authored an article predicting that many of us will hit professional irrelevance by the time we hit 40, and that we will not be prepared for any disruptive change that hits our work environment. I had suggested we step out of our comfort zones and build new muscle groups (i.e broader experiences) so we are able to manage this imminent change.

While most readers agreed, they were hard pressed to get out and do what is required to build a diverse portfolio. Their issue – “I already work 18 hours a day. Where on earth can I go make that extra time to prepare for the switch?”

I couldn’t agree more…I had the same questions too but here is how I discovered the way.

A few weeks ago, I was due to give my 7 year old son a gift.  So on the way home, I picked up a Lego set for him, knowing that he was passionate about building things. Fatherly duties done I forgot about it completely. I was pleasantly surprised to reach home, late one evening, to find him asleep on a half constructed Lego set.

Apparently, the Lego set had caught his fancy and he couldn’t get his hands off it.  He was so taken by it, he even negotiated with his mother that as long as he finishes his schoolwork and doesn’t get up late in the morning, she should let him build his masterpiece on weekdays.

Here was a 7 year old juggling school, swimming lessons, and play time yet making time to follow his passion. He did not blame weekday curfew or extra classes – he found a way around all of it.

Between, our 14 hour workdays, impossible deadlines and constant demands of the workplace, could we find that one activity that would compel us to work as hard in the office but also engage and keep us fresh?

Yes, and to do so, before we step forward, we will need to step back a little.

What was your childhood ambition? Did it revolve around being a pilot, an auto driver, a swimmer or a trapeze artist? Whatever the desire, wasn’t passion the fuel? You would do anything to achieve it and never gave capability or circumstances a second thought. Even if it meant scouring old book shops for material on airplanes or coaxing your unrelenting parents to take you to the circus, or befriending the rude auto driver, just to get a feel of the auto rickshaw. Clearly time-ability-cost-accessibility….nothing mattered.

Then what happened? Adulthood! Passion was replaced by pragmatism. We joined the rat race and suddenly passion was replaced by reality. The auto-driver-dream – replaced by i-want-my-boss’s-job, the next promotion, and onsite assignment and aah! the bigger pay packet.

Is it wrong? Should we quit and pursue our heart’s calling, give up your mortgage and live in penury?  Of course not! What if instead, we figured out how to bring that childhood passion back?

A young colleague helped drive this point home for me a few days ago. According to him, whose twin passions were wildlife and photography, his day job funded his weekend passion. And his weekend passion energized him enough to do his day job better. His once short fuse at colleagues who wouldn’t move as fast, was mellowing with the patience built in hours of waiting for the right shot near the waterhole for that elusive predator.  The last I heard, he was negotiating with his boss to send him to Boston on a business assignment so he can go whale watching on the weekends.

It’s not about giving up the 9 to 5 job that pays your bills, but instead figuring out how we could do more and achieve more. Its all about mastering the art of tapping into your hidden reservoir by pursuing the vigor of your childhood dreams and yet balancing reality.

For me, its writing. A few years ago, a colleague of mine wanted help in drafting a note for the Board, and came to me.  I realized that I enjoyed putting it together – the late hours just to get this right didn’t matter. My colleague was impressed and wanted to know how I had brought so much energy into this exercise despite having a day job. Writing, getting on stage and talking to people was something I always loved, and somehow this request tapped the hidden reservoir. Soon enough, I started writing a blog, articles in leading newspapers and magazines and landed a book deal.

My work schedule hasn’t changed. I still travel like crazy, have 14 hour days and deadline pressures. But somehow each time I sit to write, my shoulders don’t sag from the weight of the work, but lift from the excitement of doing something I am passionate about.  Writing is my “Lego set”.

Now go find yours and open yourself up to a whole new level of commitment and engagement.

Silent Naysayers : Voiceless, not Useless

The response to yesterdays blog notice was overwhelming!! And as they say, when it rains, it pours. So here is the next one. A piece I had written a few weeks back, published in today’s edition of the Economic Times.

Do those who agree with us, really go out and execute what they agreed to do?

Read on at

http://economictimes.indiatimes.com/news/news-by-industry/jobs/work-with-the-silent-naysayers-in-your-team-for-personal-and-collective-success/articleshow/10085554.cms

Guest Blog by Sandeeep Dhar: The Formal Turnout

Once upon a time, dressing formally used to be synonymous with being a corporate executive.  The moment one thought of IBM, the picture of a well groomed executive wearing a dark blue suit, black shoes and a sky blue shirt came to ones mind.  It was almost a brand characteristic of IBM.  Dressing formally was then considered to be as essential as knowing your subject matter or your business.  A few years back when I worked for MphasiS and EDS was still around and invested in MphasiS, I heard this urban legend around how the founder and the then CEO of EDS, Ross Perot was obsessed about formal dressing.  He apparently refused to sign an important deal once because the client’s CEO came for the meeting with him wearing laceless shoes!  Not sure if the story is true or not but the importance of formal dressing it highlights is not too far fetched.

 

 Fast forward to modern times and you find more and more corporations getting relaxed about formal dressing. It started with dressing down on Fridays, but soon Friday dressing became the norm on other days of the week as well.  Having said that, there still are certain occasions, such as senior executive meetings, important sales presentations, or even job interviews, which still demand formal dressing.  However, since people are not used to doing so, when the situation does demand, their attempts at formal dressing usually are inadequate.  Having spoken to many such people, I came to realise that ignorance and ill informed assumptions are often the cause rather than lack of intent.  Penning a few simple rules and clarifications I thought might be of help for many such people.

 

 One has to start with the shoes.  The first rule is that the only permissible colour for formal shoes is black.  Not even brown, let alone fancier colours like burgundy would be truly formal. The second rule is that formal shoes are always laced. When in doubt, it’s best to keep the shoes plain, but patterns such as the Brogue and the Oxford are definitely formal as well. The last rule is that the soles can only be leather.  Rubber or synthetic soles are not on.  And needless to say, black shoes can only be paired with a black belt.

 

 Formal dressing has to consist of a suit.  The suit should always be a dark shade of blue, black or grey. Sorry to disappoint some of you, but brown is not the colour of a formal suit.  Prohibited colours of course are red, green and pink, and no value judgements are intended in saying so.  Wear a jacket with less than two buttons or more than three and you are in violation once again.  And ofcourse, the fabric is to be wool, always!

 

 A complete faux paux would be to match up this elegant dark suit and black shoes with light coloured socks, the worst of them being white.  Some people believe in this myth that socks should match the shirt.  That maybe true or at least permissable when dressed casually, but for formal dressing, the socks have to be the same shade or only slightly lighter in colour than the suit.

 

 By now it would be an obvious guess that I will recommend plain white or light blue coloured shirts as the ideal formal wear.  But this is where you can experiment a bit.  You may be able to carry off very light shades of pink or cream.  You could also try some pin stripes or textured patterns.  But I must caution you that experimenting too much can take away from the formal effect.

 

 Last but not the least comes the neck tie.  This is the area plagued with the most misconceptions.  The popular notion is that as long as I have a piece of cloth around my neck I am in good order.  That is far from the truth.  Ties have various grades of formality.  The most formal ones would have not more than two colours, and the pattern if any would not be more than the size of a 25 paise coin.  Stripes are fine too as long as they conform to the two colour rule. Once again, a little experimentation may be ok, but stretch your imagination at your own peril.

 

So it isn’t too difficult after all, is it? All you need for a formal impression, are black laced leather soled shoes, a black belt, a blue/black/grey woollen suit, a White or light blue shirt, and a two coloured tie, and you have a perfect gentleman walking. And dear friends, please do me a favour, no Micky mouse pattern on the tie pleeaaassee!

 

I know some of you are turning your noses and saying ah! These days are past… let me assure you , they are still relevant and matter at the global workplace. Remember you don’t have be formal always but at the appropriate times. I for one believe that even when you dress causually, dress smartly, it only helps build your brand.

 

For the ladies I am sorry my repertoire ends with the gentlemen, hopefully Elango will get somebody else write on ladies attire.

Crystal Ball Predictions: Couple Passes To The Future of The Work Place!

‘A picture speaks a thousand words’…  Presenting this weeks blogs notice sans any flowery introduction. The comic strip below will tell you what my People Matters column this month is about…

Here is the link:

http://peoplematters.in/articles/focus-areas-13/crystal-ball-predictions-couple-passes-to-the-future-of-the-work-place

 Let me know your views…Both, on the article and the cartoon!

Credits: Nagnath GS

 

What’s Your Lego Set? Tap Your Hidden Reservoir

What was your childhood ambition? Did it revolve around being a pilot, an auto driver, a swimmer or a trapeze artist? Whatever the desire, wasn’t passion the fuel?

Then what happened? Adulthood and passion was replaced by pragmatism. We joined the rat race and suddenly passion was replaced by reality.

Is it wrong? Should you quit and pursue our heart’s calling, give up your mortgage and live in penury? Of course not! What if instead, we figured out how to bring that childhood passion back?

My article in today’s Economic Times, will tell you how…

Here is the link for your ease:

http://articles.economictimes.indiatimes.com/2011-09-02/news/30106078_1_auto-driver-auto-driver-auto-rickshaw

Make Magic

Image via Wikipedia

A few weeks ago , my wife and I noticed our son, Agastya was forgetting the magic words. He is seven now and there was no way we could explain his behavior saying ‘Oh he is only a child!’.

To help him and ourselves, we started the ‘ Say the magic word’ campaign at home. No more ‘Mama water’. If he could, he had to get it himself or say the magic ‘please’. Likewise, no thank you means the water went back! The campaign was making it’ s impact and just when we thought we had one less boor at in the world, disaster struck really hard and how!

We were out for dinner with new acquaintances. The disaster, started with the menu distribution. The poor waiter forgot to hand over the menu card to our new found acquaintance’s wife. She immediately snapped her finger and yelled ‘hallo! what about me? The poor fella had his eyeballs hit the floor and bounce back to the socket. I quietly handed over my menu card. Agastya who was busy with his Nintendo gave a quizzical ‘is this the magical behavior? That was just the beginning. The dinner was a demonstration of behavior that we wished Agastya was not witness too. ‘Please’ and ‘thank you’ the magical words were missing. In place there were demands, remonstrations and loud comments. We squirmed, we ate and we bid goodbye never to meet again.

Dear Agastya had a lot of questions, we had a bit of explaining to do, but we did as well as we can without being judgmental.  Fortunately, at seven, your child still thinks you are knowledgeable, so we minimized damage and continued our magic word campaign. Explaining this to him I realized that many of us adults, may not even be aware of the missing magic words.

Also in our country somehow the pecking order seems to be the barking order – who shouts the loudest gets the way seems to be the mantra.  Maybe we think that this is the only way to get things done. Whatever the reason, I thought this was a good subject to write on.

I looked for recent incidents that I could write as examples… of when adults forgot the magic words!

I am unwell….ok thank you

January of this year I remember, I missed a meeting with a colleague based in our New York office because I was unwell. Once I returned to work from the brief illness, I sent a regret note to the colleague that I was unwell, therefore I missed the meeting and will schedule time for us to connect again. In response I just get a plain ok!!

How I would have loved to hear…  ‘Oh! Trust you are better now… Thank you for letting me know. Look forward to our meeting!’  Magic! Just a little cheer that’s it but definitely would have oiled the wheels for future conversations for both of us.

People who serve us and a test for Indian Idioms

Here’s another one, I frequently notice.  The gent who comes around to serve coffee or tea in meetings rarely gets a thank you or a quick acknowledgment. He is virtually not there!

Persona non grata’ as they say (now can I challenge my readers to get me a local saying for that)  

I wish we would just look at them, briefly nod, and continue with whatever earth saving meeting we are in!

Recently, while checking in at a hotel front desk, I noticed a gentleman berating the receptionist. Apparently he was attending a meeting, was not staying at the hotel but wanted keep his bags at the concierge. The receptionist declined stating security reasons the hotel did not allow this. Fully understand and necessary, how do we know the chappy did not have his bags loaded with explosives.  But the gent would not let go. He raved and ranted, asked finally asked for the supervisor. Fortunately the receptionist stood her ground and asked him to fly a kite most politely! She is a rare one… I have seen many a service professional being shouted down by boors like this.

Distractions… that distort the magic

You are talking to someone, their phone beeps and you are left staring at them for the next 5 minutes. Or worse still, you are in the middle of a one o one conversation and the other person picks up their phone and starts answering their mails!

 I must admit though, that I have been guilty of this crime too! Here is a public apology and a commitment never to do it again! If i do please throw my phone on the floor and… just tell me I will apologize and not do it again.

The Big what if…

Before I leave let me address another question that you will most definitely have. “Will my niceness be taken for weakness?”

We too got asked the same by our friends and acquaintances, when we insist Agastya uses the magic words and follows simple courtesies.

“Hey, at this rate, you will make him too nice to survive in this world!”

Being nice doesn’t mean allowing people to take you for granted.

Taking off on our last post on Indian Idioms… even your scolding has to be like “injecting a ripe banana” smooth, painless yet mission accomplished.

Here is wishing you lots of magic this Ganesha

… you can start by making some magic for me with your comments J

Indianised Idioms

The last time somebody said they will take a rain check on the dinner date, and seeing it wasn’t raining I landed at the restaurant only to realise the person had no intentions of joining me for dinner. I knew it was time I did something about my idiotic sorry idiomatic knowledge. Google came to the rescue. A few key strokes and nano seconds later I was on http://www.idiomsite.com/ Having understood rain check really means “an offer or deal that is declined right now” I quietly paid the bill and walked away never to speak about it.

A recently concluded client meeting saw the excessive usage of ‘selling refrigerators to an Eskimo’ and the familiar discomfort rose. This time I did not go to idiomsite. I decided to create my own set of  Indian idioms. So then, what would Selling refrigerators to an Eskimo sound like if it was Indianised? Selling chaya to a Malayalee? Oops I don’t want to be hauled by the culture police or called a racist…. So how about selling heaters to a maammy in chennai! Sounds a lot better…  Now that we got to the maammies in Chennai can we go straight to your wallet?

A lot of idioms involve currency. It is usually the pound and the penny that find their place in celebrated idioms. How about replacing that with the rupee and paisa? It is a crore-rupee question. ‘Being penny wise and dollar foolish’ automatically becomes ‘being paisa wise and rupee foolish’; ‘costs a pretty penny’ becomes a ‘costs a pretty paisa’. Rupee for rupee, you can’t coin a better term!

What about all those Toms and dicks… it is high time we retired them! All the Kuppans’ and Suppans’ have started using them! The next time you choose, why don’t you just ‘Rob Ram to pay Lakhan’, glare at the ‘peeping Krish’, dump the ‘Dear John letter’ in favour of a ‘Dear Devdas letter’ and then go in search of your ‘Plain Paru! ’.

The pie, the porridge and the pudding seem so alien in our diction. Why don’t we just ‘makkhan both sides of the roti?’ ‘Eat humble dosa’ and ‘And save ones kabab?’ Hah, if only such blogging could become my dal and chaval!

I often wonder how locales never seen or heard have become part of our diction. Why do we have to ‘carry coals to Newcastle’ anyway?! Why not carry some to Bellary? Let us be Mumbaikars, when in Mumbai. Did Ravana play the veena, when Lanka was burnt? We also have a fascination to give Western identities to our cities. Why not call Venice as the ‘Alleppey of Europe’; or, Manchester as the ‘Mumbai of England’; and, Switzerland as the ‘Kashmir of Alps’?

Many a time, I see phrases in French and Latin being used ad nauseam to give normal banter an intellectual feel. Why French? Doesn’t ‘Khora Khagaz’ sound as sophisticated as ‘carte blanche’?  A ‘Bete noire’ will be rechristened ‘parama ediri’ or ‘Chudail’ and the faux pas will be ‘sodhappals’.  Why do all debates in our Parliament lead to it being adjourned sine die after a lot of ‘sandai’ (fighting in Tamil) It all anyway sounds Harappan to me!!

Now… now, before all of you, my dear readers, and especially my ‘blue stockings’ or should that be ‘blue salwars’, get bored, let me sign off!  But let this not stop you! I am starting a project of collecting Indian Idioms. Send in your version of idioms as comments and who knows, we may have just started a new currency in the corporate world.

Until then ‘Say paneer!’ No! Cheese still sounds better… I get cheese in my neighbourhood super market…locally made!